Remember when you brought your first child home from the hospital? If you’re like me, the house suddenly seemed very small. Despite how tiny this baby was, it felt like the walls were closing in and the weight of the world was on us. After all, we were now responsible for this new life, this newborn human.
There was so much to do in preparation for a baby. We had to get the room ready, put together a crib and changing table, make sure we were stocked up on diapers and formula, get a car seat, and all kinds of other checklist items. Then you get home and… the child eats, sleeps, and cries. But you can’t get enough of them!
Years pass and the checklist changes. You mark milestones, sometimes literally with pencil etches on the wall where they stand as they grow. First steps and first word and first tooth and so on.
The first day of school is a big one. Kids are always smiling for their first day of kindergarten, little backpacks in tow! I remember how exciting it used to be to shop for school supplies. The kids were pumped to pick out folders and pencils and notebooks with their favorite characters on them. Those elementary years were heady times!
The smiles aren’t as deeply ingrained for first days in junior high and high school. But the milestones continue. Becoming a teenager is huge, and then there’s the whole driving bit. High school flies by, and there you are at graduation, watching that child you brought home 18 or so years before walking across a stage and receiving a diploma.
No matter what kids do after high school, many of them leave home. Some might stick around to save money while figuring some things out, but many head out to the next step in their schooling or to the military or to a job opportunity. And when the last one has done that, you get to hear from everyone how you are empty nesters.
Michelle and I have heard that a lot. Jayna is in her fourth year at Winona State, and we moved Anton to MSU-Mankato not long ago. Remember how small I said the house became when we brought a baby home? Suddenly, it seems a lot bigger.
This was a different experience with Anton, and not just because he was our youngest. Jayna graduated at the height of COVID. The last five months before leaving, she was home A LOT. She would leave to go to work, but school was at home and visits with friends didn’t happen much.
When we took her to Winona, there were no roommates because of the virus. She moved in early because she’d be working in the dorm office. There weren’t many souls to be seen on campus that day. We weren’t allowed to stick around for long, so home we went.
Anton’s last months at home were very different. Graduation was normal. He’d head to work or to see his girlfriend or his buddies. He slept in and hung out in his room most of the time when he was home. He also got to move in early because of being part of the Maverick Machine marching group, but his roommates were also moving in, and there was a buzz on campus.
But I still haven’t gotten over waiting for him to emerge from his room here in Ellendale each day. Then I have to remind myself where he is. I have a freezer full of food he likes to eat such as pizza rolls, Hot Pockets, egg rolls, pot pies, and taquitos. Adjusting buying habits at the grocery store will take some getting used to.
It’s not easy having no kids at home after almost 22 years of at least one. They grow very self-sufficient as they get older, but now when they really need something, we’re not right there to help. If there’s a car problem, we might not just drive to Winona or Mankato. If one is sick or hurt, we can offer advice. We call this adulting. They will learn through experiencing difficult things, but most of what we can do from home is counsel and send our love.
I don’t really think we’re empty nesters quite yet. It’s likely Anton will come home next summer. Both kids have many of their belongings here yet. I think they need to finish school and get steady jobs and a place to live before I count them as being out from under our household roof. Even that is no guarantee, as I’m sure some of my readers can attest!
So I’ll hold onto that idea. Michelle and I might not have either of the kids around, but the nest isn’t quite empty. Plus, we still have our cat Chewbacca!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is ooftish, which means money or cash, as in, “The college student quickly realized how much ooftish was necessary to survive in their new school environment.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!