When my kids were little, Michelle would often bring them to watch Daddy coach junior high basketball games. My players always got a kick out of seeing Jayna and Anton run across the court after the game to see me. It was a thrill to introduce my children to a sport that I love.
One day a player asked, “Mr. Domeier, what if your kids don’t like basketball someday? Or don’t want to play? What will you do?”
I contemplated that for a moment. The very idea had never dawned on me. I said, “Well, they’ll certainly be exposed to it a lot in my house. That would probably mean they will learn about it and like it through just being around it.” I paused, thinking. “But if they ultimately don’t want to play, I guess that’s up to them.”
In reality, I never thought that would happen.
And then it did.
This summer, Anton told us he didn’t want to play basketball anymore. Instead, he wanted to join the One Act Play group. I let that statement sit for a beat before saying that was great if he wanted to go for it. He said that he missed acting in the old elementary Prairie Fire performances they used to do, so we’re excited now to see him in that setting.
I’m glad he played basketball for seven years. We’d have some good conversations after games and tournaments. I could tell he had a mind for hoops and understood what was happening on the floor. He might not have had the most talent, but he worked hard and was a good teammate.
Now that he’s closing in on six feet in height, I had been thinking about working with him more on post moves, but he’s more concerned about blocking scenes and from which direction to enter and exit the stage than he is blocking shots. And that’s cool. He seems very happy and has said he’s glad he made the choice. It’s not that he didn’t like basketball, but he wanted to try other things that he might be better at.
This can be a hard thing for some parents, when your child dedicates years to an activity and then gives it up. However, we have to allow our children to try a variety of activities. Some kids will always be gung ho about every sport they can play. Others will enjoy musical and other fine arts programs.
My hope for my kids has always involved a mixture of the two. The one thing Michelle and I ever forced our kids to try was piano lessons. As a result, despite much consternation when they had to practice, we have a child who’s majoring in music education and another who will tell you band is one of his favorite classes. We forced a musical background on them, and, I think, that’s okay.
We never forced sports. I, especially, might have encouraged them, but it was never really a difficult task. In my years of coaching, I could always see the kids who didn’t really want to be there, but had been told they had to try it. I like the idea of trying different things, but there’s a point where it’s been tried, not liked, and is time to move on. I didn’t want that to be my own children, so I’m glad that Anton was okay telling us he was done with basketball.
But that mixture of trying sports and the arts helps to develop a well-rounded person. I’m forever thankful that my parents had me take piano lessons and forced me to stay in band, even when I despised my teacher. I’m grateful I had the chance to play basketball and baseball growing up, even if my folks said they didn’t want me playing three sports. I’m sure I would have enjoyed football, but I’m sure my talent level would have been no higher than what I showed on any other court or field.
It’s the trying that counts. If you try something and decide you don’t like it, you’ll never regret it. If you don’t try it, though, you might regret something later in life. “I wish I would have…” is a phrase a lot of people utter. I’m appreciative Anton won’t say that about trying the theater.
The only way to know who you really are is to test the waters. Teenagers are often confused by so many things, so attempting different venues should be encouraged. If you never, ever try basketball, you’ll never know if you might be the next Michael Jordan. If you never, ever, play an instrument, you’ll never know if you could have been the next Louis Armstrong. If you never, ever act in a play, you’ll never know if you could have been the next Meryl Streep.
Contrary to Master Yoda’s axiom of “Do or do not; there is no try,” I’d like to suggest “Try and try again and then try something else too.”
Word of the Week: This week’s word is juberous, which means undecided or hesitating, as in, “The student was juberous over whether or not to try a new activity.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!