I’ve been very sad for a number of months. When we moved to distance learning in the spring, I did my best to adjust, but felt very drained when the school year was done. I had missed my students, had felt bad about not watching spring sports, and had dealt with a senior missing a lot of important moments.
Over the summer, I tried to relax. I still missed sports, as well as marching band. However, I was invited to help plan for the upcoming school year, so I spent a lot of time dealing with wailing and gnashing of teeth.
And the school year so far has been… difficult. Once again, I miss my students. Sports have been hit and miss; at least I’m fortunate enough to have a role at games, so I can be there in person, and I’m appreciative for that opportunity. And now I have a college freshman who is losing out on some parts of the college experience. However, I’m happy to report that Jayna is having a great time and is making the best of things!
But every day that I spent in my classroom by myself made me sad. I’ve had some difficulties controlling my emotions at times. I feel unfulfilled in my job. I’m trying as best I can to educate my students, but I know I’m losing more of them than usual. Teaching is never a perfect job, and I never manage to reach every kid, despite my best efforts. But I grow increasingly sad when I see kids not showing up to class and not doing any work.
I’m so happy to get at least some kids back in my classroom. It will do me a lot of good. More importantly, it will do so many of them a lot of good. Our children are suffering by not being in school, and as much as many of them complain about school, I’m guessing that so many of them are thankful to be back for now.
To continue my theme of being more appreciative from last week, I’m very thankful for a school board that listens to its constituents and is willing to debate all sides of issues, especially that of bringing kids back to our building. Anyone who has asked, I’ve been happy to tell that I will welcome all students back to my classroom. I respect the virus, but I also am confident in my ability to stay safe and the kids’ ability to stay safe (as long as they follow the rules).
I was sad last week when I was reading a story out loud with a class. There were some really funny parts, but I heard no laughter because nobody else was in my classroom. It really hit me hard. So I’m pleased that I’ll be able to hear laughter (or groans) again.
I have always loved the Muppets. One who stuck with me was Beaker. You remember him, right? He was the assistant to Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and he was often the person on whom experiments were performed. Beaker often looked sad, and I feel like I can relate. I’m in the midst of a grand experiment in education, and I’m not sure the results will be good.
To top things off, as I type my first draft, I’ve also got the news on as protestors have stormed the U.S. Capitol as Congress was counting electoral votes. I believe in the right to protest. I believe in the right to voice your opinion in a calm and rational manner. I do not believe in any right to break the law to show your opposition to anything. Breaking into the Capitol is illegal.
I’m sad for our country. We are so polarized right now. When I see people on social media supporting the illegal acts going on, I grow more sad. As I’ve told others, I don’t care who you vote for, I just care that you vote. We can disagree on politics, and that’s fine. But to take things this far, to try to create chaos and anarchy because you don’t like how things turned out is difficult to watch.
But I’m also appreciative that we have a country where we can voice our opinion without fear of reprisal. I can write this, and you can disagree, but I won’t be thrown in jail if I say I don’t like any particular politician.
I’d just like everyone to take a deep breath. Can we hit the reset button and learn to better appreciate others, even if we don’t always agree with them? I’ve been very sad for a long time. And it’s time for me to smile more and find peace. Will you please help me do that? I’d appreciate it. Thank you.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is exigency, which means an urgent need or requirement, as in, “The exigency of Congress to complete their sworn duty was disrupted by rioting.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!