This past summer, I had some opportunities to represent Youth 1st again and do some sportsmanship presentations to youth teams. It’s always a thrill to stand in front of a group of young people who have exemplified what youth sports should be about: having fun and being great sports. The awards included coaches and fans, so Youth 1st tries to make a point of this being a total team effort.
Umpires grade each team after every game in tournaments across the state; teams must get a perfect rating for the tournament to be eligible. Depending on the tournament, players received free tickets to games for the Mankato Moondogs, the St. Paul Saints, and even the Minnesota Twins! They also got to participate in parades on those fields and be recognized for their awesomeness.
I love working with Mark Arges and the Youth 1st crew. Their efforts have helped make umpiring that much better in surrounding towns. This past summer, there was only one team I didn’t give a passing grade to for their sportsmanship, a combination of some parent sniping and a player throwing his bat after being called out on strikes. Other than that, it was a fabulous year for umpiring, and much of that credit goes to Youth 1st.
The theme of our presentation this year was Positivity is Contagious. We presenters used some examples from Dr. Cindra Kamphoff, who founded the Center for Sport and Performance Psychology at MSU-Mankato. She works with all kinds of athletes to provide mental training, including the Minnesota Vikings’ star wide receiver, Adam Thielen.
Dr. Kamphoff, in her writing, talks about the impact of negativity on people. Every time we hear a negative comment, we need at least three positive ones to make up for that negativity. Just think about that for a minute. We need to choose our words and actions carefully, because our negative impact can have a ripple effect on those around us.
And it’s true. I was able to pull that one negative example I had from umpiring this summer pretty easily; it stuck with me. There were many positive things I saw on ballfields as well, but those don’t loom as closely to the front of my mind.
I know that I need to get better at this all the time. I get upset and sometimes say things I regret; we all do. However, I work with young people, and I must get better at stopping and thinking before I react to negative behavior. One possible scenario I thought of is that when I have to reprimand a student, which is inevitable, unfortunately, I should lead with how I’ve been happy with the child’s behavior lately, but that whatever was said or done was wrong and we need to work on that behavior. If I lead with the positive, the negative that needs to be said might sting less.
Then, according to Dr. Kamphoff, there need to be at least two more positives. So I need to search for things either later on or the next day to search for positivity. Now, I’m not much of a kumbaya guy, but I can try some different ways of approaching situations to see if they’re effective.
That contagious element is so important too. If you say something positive to someone, that might set their day in the right direction. That person may say something positive to another person, and suddenly you have ripples that can encompass an ocean!
As I was introducing my classroom rules and expectations to my classes, I was thinking about some of these ideas. One of the materials I told all my kids they needed for class was a positive attitude. We chatted about how English might not be their favorite subject, I might not be their favorite teacher, and they might have had some tough things happen to them before even arriving in my classroom.
Still, they can choose positivity. They can work to overcome their hatred of grammar, their dislike of me, or the fact that they had a bad experience at home or on the bus before coming to school. It might be difficult to do that, but positivity will help them and those around them to achieve their best.
Dr. Kamphoff claims that positivity helps you get a better look at yourself and what you are capable of doing. You can gain that confidence in finding success through being positive. Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t -- you’re right.” That positive attitude can lead to great things! You can gain new skills and better your relationships. Some research even suggests that positivity can add to your lifespan, up to ten years!
Sometimes we’re trained to react to situations instead of respond. We want to have that snappy comeback or sarcastic comment ready, and again, I’m guilty of that too often. That split second to think it through before saying or doing something can make all the difference in the ripple effect that occurs, whether it will be positive or negative. As an umpire, I’m trained to not react to a negative comment immediately. There’s a way to respond, if necessary, but I need to know what I’m going to say and what the likely outcome will be from what I do say.
None of us will ever be perfect in this regard. But if we all try to say or do at least one more positive thing every single day, we might soon find that this becomes the ingrained behavior. Our communities, our country, and our world will become a better, less hate-filled place if we can get that contagion of positivity going in full force.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is tirrit, which means an instance of temper or upset, as in, “The teacher felt that tirrit flare up before taking a breath in order to respond to the negative situation instead of reacting.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!