Remember when you were a kid and your family would go on vacation? All the kids were stuck together in the back of the car and probably spent much of the drive bickering and annoying each other until Dad would threaten to turn the car around and go home.
I actually recall that happening on more than one occasion. I have three younger sisters, so you can only imagine how even a car trip into New Ulm went some days.
When students tell me that they don’t get along with their siblings, I always tell them it will likely get better once you’re out from under the same roof. My sisters and I didn’t really get along while I was still at home. However, I have good relationships with them now, likely because I don’t have to share car space with them all the time!
But I figured this could get tested when my parents said they wanted to have everyone together for a big family vacation this year. It’s rare that all four of us are together anyway, but we found a week that would work for everyone to travel to Lake Okoboji in Iowa. The last time I had been there was a family trip at least 30 years ago. I didn’t have a lot of fond memories of that.
Disclaimer: I’m not a big vacation guy to start with. I get antsy if I’m away from home for more than a few days. My first night away is usually filled with some anxiety, knowing that I’ll have difficulty sleeping on an unfamiliar bed. Still, I try to go into these trips with the attitude that it’s good to discover new places and create memories with family.
The Domeier clan split between a condo near one of the Iowa Great Lakes and a hotel nearby. There was a waterslide pool as part of the package and a great view of the beauty in that area. We all arrived over the course of two nights, and then the fun began!
It’s hard enough to get everyone together, but there’s also the matter of how we treat vacations. I like to make it up as we go, with some exceptions. Let’s see how the weather is and what’s around and plan once we’re there. It’s fine to make a list of things you want to see and activities to do, but sometimes circumstances change, so my family likes to be flexible.
Some folks like to plan everything out in advance and stick to a schedule. Others like to just go where they’re told, not caring so much as long as they’re not at work!
And all this can lead to conflict. Not much in our case, but we had to put our heads together and come up with ideas in the evening for the following day. Not everyone wants to do all the same things either, but I think everyone gave a little at times. The important thing was to incorporate what Mom and Dad wanted to do since they organized everything. Of course, as grandparents, they were happy as long as they were with their grandkids!
There are times on vacation when you just need some alone time. Wherever we are, I go out each morning to find a local newspaper. It gives me a chance to be by myself and to get the lay of the land. Since I don’t really sleep in much later while on vacation, quite often I’m the first one up. It’s relaxing and a good start to my day.
There are also times that, after a long day of sightseeing and activities, I need to take a breath and relax before bed. For this vacation, I found that heading down by the lake and seeing the beautiful sunset and listening to the water lap up on shore was a great way to do that.
You always get to know your family in new ways when you spend that much time together. This was a new experience since all the siblings hadn’t been on a vacation together since I was in high school. We’ve all grown and matured since then, gotten married and had families, and can sit back and engage each other as adults. It was a time to see all the cousins together, and it gave the grandkids a chance to see what this could look like for them someday if they chose to join with everyone for a big trip.
Vacationing with your family is about enjoying each other’s company and also knowing when you need some time away from each other. Too long together and wherever you are becomes too much like the back seat of the car used to be. But you also know that, for most families, it’s a rarity to be able to get everybody together for an extended period of time. My sisters and I all have kids of different ages and involved in various activities. My daughter is the oldest grandchild at 17, and my youngest sister has a son who’s almost 1 as well as another on the way. So finding things that everyone will enjoy is tough to do.
We’ve all heard the saying that you love your family, but you don’t always like them. That’s probably true for most people, but the love you have for each other perseveres through any arguments or disagreements. It was an enjoyable trip for the Domeier clan, and while we might not ever get this chance again, if we do, we’ll make the most of it.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is opisthenar, which means the back of a hand, as in, “We’re long past the days where a dad would threaten his misbehaving children with his opisthenar, thankfully.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!