As you read this, it is a busy week in the Domeier home. Anton just turned nine (happy birthday, bud!), parent-teacher conferences are upon us, and Jayna has a basketball tournament in my hometown of New Ulm. Oh, and there’s Valentine’s Day.
Long-time readers of this space know I dislike Valentine’s Day, an overhyped excuse to spend money on flowers and candy. This year, I’m going to do something different: I will proclaim my love for Michelle publically!
I’ve written before about how we got set up on a blind date and that there was never really any doubt in my mind that Michelle and I were meant to be together. I stand by that. We have so much in common, even though we have dramatically different personalities.
Michelle has commented from time to time how I know more people than she does in this, her hometown. It’s not a hard thing to do when you teach in the district and see so many people at school functions. It doesn’t hurt that I’m gregarious; I can walk into a room of strangers and find myself in a conversation in no time, not something Michelle is as comfortable with.
This is where the phrase “opposites attract” applies. We’re not the same, and that can be a good thing. There’s an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry falls in love with a woman, only to find out the reason he likes her so much is that she has all the same traits as him. Then he realizes that he doesn’t really like himself, and it’s over.
There are things I don’t like about myself, but Michelle fills in those qualities so wonderfully, and that’s why we fit together so well.
I’m not always great with the kids; my patience is lacking. My wife has tremendous patience and is much more able to show how much she cares for others than I do. Her creative mind is always going and coming up with neat things to do with the kids, like treasure hunts, puppets, and other things I’d never dream of. Her creative nature lends well to being a room parent and helping with creative projects; as I type this, she is helping Anton decorate a Minecraft box for Valentine’s Day cards.
She must have patience to have to listen to me vent, even if she doesn’t know who or what I’m talking about half the time. She must have patience to put up with a husband who’s always on the go and spends at least as many nights at some activity as he does at home. She must have patience to be a coach’s wife, an aspect where I get too focused on my team. Michelle is so supportive of my need to go, go, go, knowing that I’m like a shark sometimes: if I stop, I might be done for.
We do have a lot in common as well. We found out quickly when we started dating that we had similar tastes in television, watching Seinfeld and Friends. (In fact, I proposed after an episode of the latter. Romantic, I know.) We have the same sense of humor and enjoy sarcasm and irony as much as anyone. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is a great example of a show that we both enjoy for its snarkiness. We enjoy sports, whether our kids are playing or not. Our reading tastes might not always be alike, but the bond formed by books is very strong.
It’s never difficult to have a conversation with my wife, and I think that’s one thing that is important in a relationship. I think that even when we’re retired and have more time together that our lives will not be dull and we will not become sick and tired of each other. It’s frightening how many times we’re thinking the exact same thing or complete each other’s sentences already!
We continue to discover new and wonderful stages in our lives from dating to newlyweds to young children to watching our kids grow up and start down paths of their own. I can’t wait for the next stages to come, and I love the fact that Michelle will be at my side as they arrive. I love you, my lobster!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is capitulate, which means to surrender, as in, “The woman was forced to capitulate to her beau’s proposal, as he had won her over at last.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!