My wife is leaving me.
No, not Michelle. My other wife, my professional wife.
What is a professional wife? Well, I’ve been working closely with special education teacher Heather Carlson for the past six years at NRHEG, and we decided at one point that we spent enough time together planning and teaching that we were basically married while at work.
At one point, Heather was in my classroom with her special needs students three class periods each day. We decided to try the grand experiment of including those students who have a learning disability related to English as much as possible. Where in the past, they had been pulled from the regular education classroom, Heather and I worked together to give them inclusion and help them grow in this learning environment.
The first couple of years were just as much of Heather learning as the kids. She was no slouch when it came to English, but there’s a difference between knowing English and teaching the subject. By the last couple of years, Heather could have taught my class by herself many days. (I’m somewhat of a control freak though, so that didn’t happen often.)
Heather is leaving NRHEG. She was offered a job in Waconia and took it, despite a lot of hand wringing before making that decision. Here’s the truth: I knew this day was coming from the time Heather started teaching with me.
To use an old story, Heather is a city mouse, not a country mouse. She grew up in the Cities and frequently went back home. I’m not sure she ever adjusted to life in our small communities; in fact, she lived in Owatonna and never seriously considered moving closer. There’s nothing wrong with this, but I could often sense a longing she had for a place with more “action” than we can provide.
I always thought if Heather could meet a nice young man from here, she might stay. But I think I was fooling myself; this was inevitable.
As she was working through her Master’s program, she started using the professional wife term, since it was referenced in her studies. And it fit, though I knew it was a relationship doomed to eventually end in divorce. Just like in any relationship, Heather overlooked some of my supposed flaws (a passion for Star Wars and Seinfeld, among others) since what worked was a good thing.
Heather was able to know where I wanted to go with students and help get them there. It wasn’t just her special education students either; many of the other students also felt comfortable working with her. When Waconia called me to ask about her strengths, that was one of the things I told them. I also told them how she was able to adjust and modify just about any crazy task I came up with to the abilities of her students.
Despite the ending of our professional relationship (and this is not like the “break” Ross and Rachel were on in Heather’s favorite show, Friends), I know I have made a lifelong friend in Heather. She will succeed in Waconia and anywhere else she decides to roam. Because I can’t help myself, I have to provide an analogy to one of the things she hated most: Star Wars. She was like my young Padawan learner, now ready to take her trials and become a full-fledged Jedi Knight. May the Force be with you, Heather!
To make matters worse, a second special education teacher I was working with, Stacie Ebnet-Dietz, is also departing NRHEG after just one year. Here I thought I had the makings of another professional wife since I knew Heather wasn’t long for us. Stacie understood my musical references from the ‘80s since we are close in age, but I wish her the best as well.
And because these things happen in threes (and since I already wrote about Mr. Cyr’s departure), my church is losing our priest, Fr. Swami. He is headed to Adams after five years of serving our cluster of Catholic churches. The passion Father provided for the Church will be missed, and I hope he does well in his new cluster and that the people of our parishes welcome his replacement warmly.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is animadversion, which is the act of criticizing or an unfavorable comment, as in, “I found it hard to come up with any animadversion about my departing colleagues.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!