In November, I told you about why Thanksgiving is the best holiday of the year. Now we come to the opposite end of the spectrum: Valentine’s Day. Yuck.
For all my life, whether I’ve been in a relationship or not, I have intensely disliked this day. If you’re single, it’s vastly depressing as you watch all this lovey-dovey activity around you and realize how alone you are.
If you’re in a relationship, especially as a man, the pressure is on to get just the right gift or pay an extravagant amount for dinner/jewelry/flowers/all of the above.
Here’s the thing: I love my wife. I tell her this every day, and I mean it more every day that I say it.
It’s nice to go out of my way to do something special for Michelle sometimes, but this day seems so forced. It truly is a Hallmark holiday. Isn’t it better if I do something spontaneous? (Okay, I’m not really good at that either, but…)
I was surprised in doing some research to learn that Valentine’s Day was referenced by such notable authors as Geoffrey Chaucer and William Shakespeare. (I must have slept through that lecture in college.) Despite longings expressed through famous poets’ writings, I will not let my English major inclinations sway me from my dislike of this holiday!
I love Michelle. I picked out something that I thought she might like for Valentine’s Day this year.
I may not like the day, but I’m not dumb either. So, here’s a bold statement: (Disclaimer: This is said partially tongue in cheek.) Valentine’s Day is a cause of divorce in the United States.
How could that be so? Look at it this way. There are high expectations on this day.
If one member of the marriage has those high expectations and they are not met, there is anger. This anger can fester for some time, especially when others around the angry person are swamped in flowers and candy.
Suddenly, that person is looking at his or her spouse and examining every little flaw. It might not be immediate, but doubts begin to form. Doesn’t this person love me?
The Huffington Post reported that recent census statistics still show around one out of every two marriages end in divorce. The average amount of years before that happens is seven.
There are certainly a lot of reasons that people separate, some very legitimate, don’t get me wrong. I worry sometimes though, that when times get tough, people are too eager to just give up rather than work at it.
Listen, Michelle and I have had some rough patches, just like any couple. But we’ve worked hard at our marriage to keep it growing and getting stronger all the time.
She says that it would take me abusing her (I’m pretty sure she could kick my butt) or cheating on her (Why would I do that with such a beautiful wife?) for her to leave. Anything else that is tough for us can be worked out.
How will I be spending my Valentine’s Day? I’ll be sitting at parent-teacher conferences. I can guarantee that I’ll hear at least one divorced parent blame the other for why their child (stress on THEIR) isn’t performing to standards.
My one wish on this day full of love is that divorced parents would learn to get along well enough for the sake of the children. You don’t have to like each other, but you still have shared responsibilities for the correct raising of your children.
Please set a good example for them and work together so they can grow up and view relationships in a positive light, even when things don’t work out.
I don’t expect anything for this holiday, and my heart won’t be broken if I don’t receive anything. Although I really love Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups…
Word of the Week: This week’s word is uxorious, which means excessively devoted or submissive to one’s wife, as in, “The man was so uxorious that he was willing to buy feminine products for his wife at the store.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!