Nothing really surprises me as a teacher anymore. I’ve heard and seen it all when it comes to those eye-opening experiences that make you wonder what some people are thinking. A few things have jumped out at me this year and given me cause to rattle the cage and jump on my soapbox for a bit.
I tell my students that excuses are like bellybuttons: everyone has one, and they don’t do you much good anymore. Yet, I hear some outlandish excuses from parents and then I don’t have to wonder anymore where the kids get their talents.
I’ve heard everything from, “My child is very good and wouldn’t cause trouble intentionally,” to, “I couldn’t possibly take TV away as a consequence,” to, “It’s your job as a teacher to make sure my kid does his homework when he gets home.”
What? Really?
These got me thinking about responsibilities of parents. Let me be really blunt.
I wasn’t there when your child was conceived; that was a choice you made. You don’t get to run away from the responsibilities that go along with that action just because you might not have been thinking about a child being the possible outcome of the scenario.
Here are the rules of parenting:
1. You are responsible for raising your child with good morals and values. They will become what you make of them.
If you swear and get drunk and cheat in front of them, they will do the same things as they grow up. If you complain about how much you hated school back in the day, your child will develop that attitude as well.
In today’s economic climate, your child needs a good education and a good work ethic to have some success, and even that’s not a guarantee. However, it is a good start.
2. You are not your child’s friend. Stop trying to make your child and all of his or her friends think you’re the coolest parent around.
There were times growing up that I disliked my parents. Why? Because they didn’t let me do whatever I wanted and made me responsible for my actions.
Looking back, I’m very thankful they did. Sometimes I feel like I don’t do as good a job with my own children, but I know there are times Jayna and Anton aren’t pleased with me. That’s okay.
3. You must sacrifice your own desires for your child. There are plenty of evenings where I would rather do anything other than sit at piano lessons or a 4-H meeting or make an extra trip to church to pick the kids up after Sunday school. However, these are important to them. Just as important is helping your child with at least completing their homework.
Looking at math pages every day just about makes my eyes pop out, but Anton needs me to check over them. When I coached junior high sports, there were parents I never saw at a game. Be there for your child, even if you would rather be somewhere else.
Being a parent is the biggest responsibility there is, and it doesn’t end once the child is potty trained and can walk on their own. It never really ends, even after the child leaves the house. I may not be perfect as a parent (none of us are, really), but by following these rules, the world can become a better place instead of one where making excuses is the default.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is malingerer, which means one who fakes illness to avoid work, as in, “The child was a noted malingerer since his parents continued to call in to school saying he was sick, when everyone knew he was home watching Spongebob.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!