Last week, I wrote about meeting my wife. There are many reasons I love Michelle, and one of them is her family.
No, I do not have the stereotypical in-laws, where I cringe every time we have to get together with her family. I feel as much a part of the Granowski/Spinler families as I do the Domeier family, and that’s another element that makes our marriage so endearing.
I was welcomed into family functions from the time we started dating. Now, I’m a people person, but I was very intimidated by Michelle’s family. I wasn’t sure what I could talk about or what I should avoid.
I’ve found that another stereotype – don’t ever talk about religion or politics – just doesn’t ring true with her family; we talk about those topics often! Even if we don’t all agree on things, they can be lively discussions, and there are no hurt feelings when we’re through. We sometimes just agree to disagree.
Michelle’s Grandma Spinler just died. This has been tough on her, even though we knew it was coming.
Grandma Mary had been in and out of the hospital a lot recently. We got a chance to go visit her the day before she died in the hospital. While there, I saw amazing family experiences that are truly memorable.
As I’ve mentioned before in this column, I’ve never been very good at expressing emotions.
My family has always been a little closer to the vest when it comes to that. It takes quite a bit to make me cry, unless it’s watching the end of Hoosiers.
This, to me, is the hardest part of any relationship: death. It’s inevitable; you’re going to have to go through a number of these events, and it’s how you respond that adds another layer to a committed relationship.
I love Michelle completely, and it’s so hard to see her in pain. There’s no easy solution to this pain like there is when you break a bone or sprain an ankle.
I do the best I can to comfort her and the kids; it’s all we can do as family. Everyone deals with loss in different ways, and patience and a helpful shoulder or open ear is what we need in these situations.
I know this has been difficult on our kids. Jayna and Anton are very emotionally connected to their friends and family.
While they were frightened when my dad had his heart attack, this was the first time that someone close to them was going to die, and we made that clear to them. However, the rest of the family talked with them while we visited Mary in the hospital and continued that path of making everyone such an important part of this family.
As we sat there, conversations varied all across the board. I was sitting with a group of grieving people, but they needed distraction; one can’t just sit around and mope, though one’s mind tends to always be whirling, mentally preparing for the inevitable.
A friend of the family came and led everyone in Christmas carols, giving Mary a send-off that she would appreciate, especially the songs that were sung in Czech.
And that’s what put me in tears. Not gazing at a woman ready to meet her maker and join her husband and other deceased relatives. Not watching my wife and children battle their emotions.
No, it was seeing a family come together during the most difficult time of their lives and rejoice for the life their mother lived and send her on the way to the Lord with celebration. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a Kleenex again.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is venerate, which means to regard with reverential respect or to adore, as in, “The family was able to venerate their mother and grandmother, a woman who lived life to the fullest and set a good example for all.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!