Many of you have heard the old baseball story by Abbott and Costello of, “Who’s on First, Nobody’s on Second.” Following is the tale of today’s anybody.
There were four people: everybody, somebody, anybody and nobody. There was an important job to be done and everybody was sure somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was everybody’s job. Everybody thought anybody could do it. But nobody realized that everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that everybody blamed somebody when nobody did what anybody could have done.
The Manitoba-Ontario-Minnesota Ornithology 2020 Fall Convention was held on the north side of our house in Albert Lea. There were 12 different flocks in attendance. The weather was very cold during the day — in fact, all three scheduled days for the convention set a record for having the coolest high temperature. As hosts of the convention, Genie and I provided free corn (both on the cob and shelled), free lump peanut butter and free sugar-sweetened juice. Rather than going south to their winter quarters, some of the convention attendees decided to stay a few more days as the forecast was for a lot warmer weather, and the forecast was right. Most of those staying the extra days were of the finch or hummer flock. The flock of hummers was downright belligerent as they chased everything else away. They hit each other, scolded Genie and I and wouldn’t share the sugar-sweetened juice with the members of their own flock. During the well-attended convention, Genie bought two jumbo-size jars of the lumpy peanut butter and made the sugar-sweetened juice twice.
I made two midnight requisition trips into the cornfield of Brian Thompson for more corn. The last attendees left early Tuesday morning, Oct. 1. Thank goodness.
Short shorts:
A. The Minnesota Twins are in the thick of the race for the World Series champs in baseball. There is a slight chance they might have to play their old nemesis, the New York Yankees. “Uffda.”
B. Our 57th wedding anniversary was Sept. 28, 2020. More information to follow in another column.
C. Many of you have less than 90 days to shape up. Call 951-262-3062 to see what you need to do.
D. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are no old bold pilots.
E. Two people were arrested for going the wrong way in a one-way aisle at Hy-Vee in Albert Lea.
F. Don’t be worried about your Smart Phone and TV spying on you. You vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years!
G. The shortest distance driving between two points in Albert Lea is under construction.
H. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
I. Words of a non-weight watcher: “When I open the fridge door and the light comes on, I burst into song!”
J. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.
K. To get to the top, you must get off your bottom.
L. Think about it — by not voting, you’re voting for the candidate you don’t like.
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Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent, currently working on his master’s degree in Volunteering. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in Volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. Bob says if you enjoy his column, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of wisdom: There is always room for God.