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(This special column is being reprinted by request from our May 9, 2013 issue.)

Do you know what day is an important day in your life? Sunday, May 11, 2014. Living or deceased, it is in honor of a very important person in your life. If they’re living, a nice gift to that VIP could be a solar dancing flower. If deceased, how about, “Thanks, Mom.”

If you do nothing, quit reading, proceed to just north of the I-35-Hope exit, and you’ll be yourself “beyond Hope.”

Have you ever wondered why God did this or how God did that? I had some questions of this nature about moms, so I decided to get my answers from the experts.

I decided second grade Sunday school kids were the most qualified experts on the subject of moms. To get my answers, I posed the following questions to second grade Sunday school children at local churches.

Why did God make mothers?

1. “She’s the only one who knows where the Scotch tape is.”

2. “Mostly to clean house.”

3. “To help us out of there when we were getting borned.”

How did God make mothers?

1. “He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.”

2. “Magic plus super powers and a lot of string.”

3. “God made my Mom just the same like He made me. He just used bigger parts.”

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. “God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.”

2. “They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.”

Who’s the boss at your house?

1. “Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because Dad’s such a goofball.”

2. “Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.”

3. “I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.”

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. “She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.”

2. “I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it, not me.”

3. “I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.”

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mother?

1. “We’re related.”

2. “God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.”

What kind of a little girl was your Mom?

1. “My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.”

2. “I don’t know because I wasn’t there. But my guess would be pretty bossy.”

3. “They say she used to be nice.”

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?

1. “My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world, and my Mom eats a lot.”

2. “She got too old to do anything else with him.”

3. “My Grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.”

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?

1. “On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.”

2. “Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.”

Readers, if there is any feeling of who the second grader reply might be from, it could be more than coincidence! Remember, those boys and girls are from area churches.


Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent, currently working on his master’s degree in Volunteering. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in Volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. Bob says if you enjoy his column, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of wisdom: There is always room for God.

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