I hope you remembered Flag Day on June 14. As the song goes, “This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land.” Please honor Old Glory wherever you see our flag flying. If you are a veteran, a click of the heels and a snappy salute is the order of the day.
Father’s Day, ah yes, that great Dad who got help from Mom to get you started in this world. Whether he’s living or deceased, you can honor him at least 365 days (sometimes 366) every year. Blessed be your father.
I was asked by a young dad for equal time for Father’s Day recognition. His reasoning was, I did an article on why and how God made mothers, so I should do the same for fathers.
Once again I went to second-grade Sunday school kids at local churches for their expert answers about Dad.
Why did God make fathers?
1. “He’s the only one who shuts off the lights when we leave the house.”
2. “So Mom doesn’t have to lift the real heavy things.”
How did God make fathers?
1. “I don’t know, but He could have been a little more careful.”
2. “He made them just like mothers, only with less hair and sharp whiskers.”
What ingredients are fathers made of?
1. “Dirty fingernails.”
2. “Knobby knees.”
Who’s the boss at your house?
1. “Dad thinks he is, but Mom really is.”
2. “Mom, because Dad says she spends all the money.”
3. “My Sunday school teacher, because she taught me to obey my father and mother.”
If you could change one thing about your Dad, what would it be?
1. “I would not let him sleep because he snores really loud.”
2. “Make him give me two dollars because I am very good in church.”
3. “Make him shower more because sometimes he really stinks.”
Why did God give you your father and not some other father?
1. “Because God knew that he would like me.”
2. “I’m not sure, but sometimes I think God made a mistake.”
What kind of little boy was your Dad?
1. “My Grandma says he was a rascal.”
2. “I think he played with frogs and snakes.”
Why did your Dad marry your Mom?
1. “To help him be good.”
2. “Grandpa says Dad knows a good thing when he sees it.”
3. “Because Mom slowed down and then Dad got caught.”
What would it take to make your Dad perfect?
1. “Be more like me.”
2. “Remove the tattoo that isn’t Mom’s name.”
3. “I think he is perfect.”
Readers, I was going to let you know who the young father was who requested this column. I decided not to, as some of these answers are from his relatives. Remember, these answers are from boys and girls in area churches, so if you think you know the second-grader, you might be right.
Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent, currently working on his master’s degree in Volunteering. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in Volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. Bob says if you enjoy his column, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of wisdom: There is always room for God.