Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting
"I sing while I exercise."
"What do you sing and does it help you lose weight?"
"Fat chants."
Driving by the Bruces
I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: whenever you attempt to catch something falling from a table, you’ll always knock something else off it.
I’ve learned
To never believe anyone who calls me skeptical.
Sometimes things have to fall apart in order to fall into place.
Each discovery brings mysteries.
The news from Hartland
Township erects Opossum Crossing, Skunk Crossing, and Raccoon Crossing signs near Deer Crossing signs.
Moses Lawn says, "If you can afford a power lawnmower, then mower power to you."
No year is perfect
Summer causes some to wonder if they’re here only to suffer mosquito bites and to complain about the weather. Last year was dry. This year, not so much. Each day brings charcoal skies and distant rumbles of thunder. It reminds me of the old saying, "Shake and shake the ketchup bottle. None'll come and then a lot'll." Last year, trees leaned towards me, recognizing me as a source of water. I don’t melt in heat or rain. I’m thankful for that.
She outgrew half an outhouse
Many outhouses contained holes of different sizes — larger holes for adults and small holes for children. Children learned not to sit on a bigger hole unless they wanted to fall in. I preferred to visit an outhouse alone. I’m not shut-mouthed, but I don’t know what the two of us would find to talk about. A reader told me that when she was a small girl, her father built a new outhouse and used her south end as the dimensions for the small seat.
Tilting at wind turbines
We have so many wind turbines in the area that Don Quixote would tip over from exhaustion from tilting after windmills. Not everyone is a big fan of the big fans. I talked to a fellow who said he’d like them better if he owned half of one. I’m not exactly sure what he meant by that, but I thought of "Pudd’nhead Wilson" by Mark Twain. There is a scene in the novel in which Wilson is sitting on a bench with others. A nearby dog is barking persistently, and Wilson says, "I wish I owned half that dog," and when asked why, he says, "Because I would kill my half."
I’m waving on the inside
I try to smile and wave as often as I can. A friend, Darwyn Olson of Hartland, claims that I never wave at him. If I don’t wave at Darwyn, I want it on record that my waveless existence in his presence isn’t intentional.
Bob Hanson, a friend who lives at Beaver Lake or in Albert Lea, dependent upon which neighbors will put up with him, told me that he and his wife were traveling through Montana when they spotted a man involved in some aspect of baling hay. Bob honked the horn in his car and they both waved at the rancher, who, in turn, paused in his endeavors, and climbed to the tallest spot available to him. From that vantage point, he waved briskly while wearing a huge smile.
Oddments
Although impossible to prove, Steve Dalkowski might be the hardest-throwing pitcher in baseball history. In an extra-inning Eastern League game, Dalkowski struck out 27 batters and walked 16 while throwing 283 pitches. The 5-foot-11, 170-pound Dalkowski never made it to the majors and finished with a lifetime win-loss record of 46-80 and an ERA of 5.59 in nine minor league seasons, striking out 1,396, walking 1,354 in 995 innings, and throwing about 230 pitches per nine innings.
A Public Policy Polling national poll found that 61 percent of voters own pets. Dogs were preferred by 52 percent, 21 percent chose cats, and 31 percent let their pets sleep with them. Americans are more afraid of snakes than any other animal. Bambi was the favorite movie animal, followed by Lassie, Garfield, Nemo, Free Willy, and Jaws.
Nature notes
I stopped on a hot day to get some iced tea at a fast food restaurant situated near the highway. I watched house sparrows flutter about the parking lot. Some of them flew in and out of the grilles of automobiles. Those are good places for the birds to find fried insects. House sparrows make themselves so much at home around fast food places that they could be called burger kinglets.
Meeting adjourned
Everyone has a bad day. Don’t share yours with everyone else. Be kind.