By DEB BENTLY

Staff Writer

Since 1999, the number of suicides in the United States has risen by one-third. Every year in our country, as many as 1.2 million people attempt suicide; about 45,000 succeed. According to the national Centers for Disease Control, it is the second-most common cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24, having taken the lives of about 600 Minnesota teens in 2018.

Thanks to funding provided through the Greater Mankato Area United Way and NRHEG’s FFA organization, all students at the NRHEG secondary site took part in an event meant to raise their awareness about suicide during the January 9 school day.

The 2.5 hour session began with a video which shared the story of Emma Benoit, now 22, who attempted suicide in 2016 at the age of 16.

Viewers saw a lively, physically active cheerleader who winked at the camera and spun down a busy city sidewalk. They saw a beautiful home in a comfortable Louisiana neighborhood. Transposed over those images was a recording of a 9-1-1 emergency call in which this teenager’s mother was receiving advice to staunch the flow of blood from her daughter’s neck.

As the story of that fateful day is revealed, Benoit’s voice is heard speaking. “From the outside looking in, I had a perfect life. But I have always been super hard on myself. For as long as I can remember, I had trouble with anxiety.

“But I was afraid if I opened up about these feelings, people wouldn’t see me the same any more.”

Benoit admits that, as she thought about pulling the trigger, she saw herself as a burden on the people who loved her. She believed that, by killing herself she would be removing the worry and pain she caused them. “My emotional brain was making all the decisions at that moment,” she observed

A psychologist who is interviewed during the video stated, “Teenagers are prone to what we might call ‘black and white’ thinking.”

By this, he clarified, they are likely to transpose “I failed a test” directly to “I am a failure.” Or even “I made a mistake” to “I am a mistake.”

People prone to anxiety or depression are also susceptible to downward-spiral thinking. According to research, once in this mindset they are especially at risk for suicide.

“There is about a 10-minute time period when they’re likely to do something. If we can just get them to talk to someone, have them make a connection with someone during that 10 minutes, it’s possible the suicide can be prevented,” said one therapist quoted in the video.

But, as Benoit knows from experience, they are unlikely to reach out on their own.

She says she hopes that sharing her story, letting young people see the struggles she faced after her injury, will give potential suicide victims a reason to pause. One slogan shared was, “It ain’t weak to speak.”

As shown in the video, Benoit woke up after her attempt in an Intensive Care Unit (ICU) unable to feel or move her right arm or legs. “I had only my left arm,” she remembers. “I felt trapped in my own body.”

Because of severe bullet wounds in her neck and spinal cord, she couldn’t sit up or feed herself. Doctors estimated she had a 1% chance of ever walking again.

“I was 16,” she says. “I was athletic, mobile.

“And then I wasn’t.”

The video chronicles Benoit’s efforts to rebuild her muscles and coordination. It shows her struggling to open a car door, putting a walker into the back seat of a vehicle, then climbing behind the steering wheel to receive adaptive driving lessons.

It shows her attempting to stand and walk on a treadmill, requiring two therapists to keep her upright and safe.

After the video, Benoit entered the gym in a wheelchair. “I can walk,” she said. “I use the wheelchair because it’s so much faster.”

Benoit joined NRHEG social worker Brooke Krohn and secondary counselor Liz Stiernagle in a panel discussion. A projected QR code created the opportunity for students to submit their questions anonymously.

Remembering the earliest moments of the video, one audience member asked how Benoit could look so confident and together, yet be considering suicide.

“That was fake confidence,” she responded. “I was only showing people what they wanted to see. In the meantime, I was giving myself very negative input.” Benoit admitted that she had begun considering suicide as a middle schooler.

Social worker Krohn interjected, “You never know what’s going on inside someone’s head. We tell ourselves some very dark things sometimes. In a moment of crisis, our whole mind is captivated.”

A very big message throughout the panel discussion was communication.

“We all need our people,” said Stiernagle. “We have our close circle of friends we can reach out to.

“Don’t be afraid or ashamed. Talk to them.” Stiernagle also offered herself and Krohn. “We’re here for you,” she said. “We’ll make time, we’ll listen, and we’ll help you find what you need.”

Stiernagle and Krohn also recommended “evidence based thinking.”

“If you find yourself with a thought like, ‘Nobody loves me,’’ Krohn clarified, “look for evidence that supports that.

“When you start to look around, you’ll see all the people who do things for you, who ask about you, and you’ ll understand that the evidence just doesn’t support those negative ideas.”

Stiernagle also recommended “self care,” looking for people and activities that simply feel good. “Everyone needs that toolbox of coping skills,” she said. “It might be going for a run, painting your nails, or watching a movie with a friend.

“It will be different for everyone, and that’s okay.”

Also shared was the national suicide hotline, 9-8-8. The line is set up to receive phone calls and text messages.

“If you’re in that dark moment and

you don’t know who else to talk to,” said Krohn, “then call 9-8-8. They’re there to help.

“When you’re thinking those dark thoughts, it makes a real difference to hear yourself speak them out loud.”

The Greater Mankato Area United Way coordinated last week’s program as part of its suicide prevention efforts throughout the region. The panel moderator, Ray Stenglein of Willmar-based Wings of Hope, lost a daughter to suicide in 2016.

“For every person who dies by suicide,” Stenglein said, “There are 100 people affected. I want to reduce the pain both for those who are considering it and those who might lose someone.”

Stenglein learned of Benoit’s work and has so far helped bring her to 15 Minnesota schools, with her message heard by 6,600 students and 500 adults as of last week.

He observed that he and Benoit have learned from each other–he as a father who can see what it might have been like if his daughter had survived, and she as a daughter seeing the struggles of a parent who has lost a child.

“As she’s healing,” he says, “I’m healing with her.”

In the meantime, he says, they are working together to make a difference. “For every person who dies, there are 103 who attempt it,” he comments. “That’s 103 people we can reach; 103 scenarios we have a chance to change,” he says. “This is mental health first aid. And we have every reason to keep this conversation going.”